3 years ago, Yang Na, a post-90s generation girl from Qionglai, without hesitation gave up her job in Suzhou, and went back to her home town to be with her paralysed boyfriend Yan Hongbo. Her parents made a pact with her: if within 3 years he can stand up again, they would give their blessing. Now that 3 years have passed, hope for the boy to stand up again remains uncertain. Her parents reminded her to move back home, which put Yang Na in a dilemma. In the end, Yang Na made a hard decision, declaring that she is willing to “extend” this relationship another 6 months and if after 6 months he still hasn't made a change for the better, she will obey her parents, and gradually leave him. Meanwhile, Yan Hongbo is also in a dilemma: he wants her to stay, but also wants to let her go to pursue her own happiness.
“I have no choice, my parents are old, and I have to think of them too,” says Yang Na. To sum up her relationship over the past 3 years, it was half sweet, and half bitter. Both her parents and her friends all believe Yan Hongbo is a burden on her, but she doesn't thinks so. “It’s like looking after a little kid, he never causes me any trouble. He never gets angry with me even though sometimes my tone is harsh.” She says there are many things she can’t let go of, that even if she does leave, she wants to make sure his life is taken care of first, to get him a motorized wheelchair, to raise money to renovate his house. Even if he doesn't live in the house, renting it out would be economic income for him. “Only when he can live well can I be at ease. I won’t leave him immediately. I'm afraid that he wouldn't be able to cope, so I will leave him gradually. I hope he won’t blame me.”
“Some loss is destined, and some relationships will never have any result. I'm afraid that one day I may lose you. I want to cherish you so much; I simply cannot be without you. But I'm also afraid that my choice is wrong.” Yan Hongbo knows in his heart too that the “3-year pact” between Yang Na and her mother has already come due, but perhaps out of fear of facing the fact, he and Yang Na haven’t talked about this topic. Knowing the decision Yang Na has made, he isn't surprised, only saying after a long pause, “In fact, I want her to stay, but I also want her to leave and be happy– I've been very conflicted, about this problem.” He says he can understand any decision Yang Na makes, and no matter what, he will never blame her. “I don’t want to let her go, but what else can I do?”
Na Na’s mother says: “Our home is in the countryside, where men should be the backbone of the family, to farm the fields, to support the family. But Na Na can never depend on the man she is with now. We can’t help but worry. Her father is already 50 years old, and is not well. If for some reason we’re gone, how are they supposed to live? I worry that she may suffer. In the past 3 years, we often had to send her rice and cooking oil. Whenever we slaughtered a chicken or fish, we’d also bring some to them. In the past at home, she rarely did any housework, but now she must do everything herself. Over 3 years ago, she told me about Yan Hongbo’s condition. I tried to talk her out of putting herself into this bad situation. If she wanted to help, she could give him money and encouragement, but she must never invest too much feelings for him. But she was persistent, saying he had promised her that he would stand up in 2 years and give her happiness.”
21st February 2014
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