What does a guy really mean when he IGNORES you ?

This article is addressed to girls, but guys should read it too to be aware of the situation and so work on with their partners to reach good results. 

When one person in your relationship is much busier than the other, that can put a huge strain on the relationship. You might be in different life situations, one where your boyfriend/husband has a lot of stuffs going on while you have a lighter schedule and want to spend your spare time with him, so you find that he has not time for you and you feel kind of neglected and ignored. 
But, does your boyfriend/husband really mean to ignore you ? 
Well, here are the real reasons why your boyfriend/husband seems to ignore you :


1- MEN ARE LESS SOCIAL

When a guy comes home from work or school, he does not usually talk too much. For him, it is really enough to see his girlfriend/wife smiling, giving him a hug and maybe a kiss. His world is okay then.

This is not the same case with us girls. We need socialise a lot and share our experience of the day -detail by detail- with others, especially our boyfriend/husband. In fact, guys feel so amazed of how much a girl can talk about her day ! 

The one thing you need to know is : Guys are DIFFERENT. The way they think is different.There is nothing wrong with a guy if he does not like to talk as much as we girls do. This does not mean that a guy ignores you. Sometimes, guys are so tired that they can't talk any more. 

2 - BEING BUSY WITH A NEW PROJECT 

Every once in a while, a guy finds a new " toy " to use. This can be a video game, a new piece of hardware, a new job...etc. For some reason, guys like to engage in their own projects, and this starts since childhood. They make cars with Lego, build castles with Playmobil, imagine wild worlds with knights, tanks, robots...etc. Boys can be very creative and always need something going on, and this carries on into adulthood. 

Sometimes, it goes a little overboard. There are times when something new comes out, and then ta guy wants to spend all day with it. Like playing a new video game all the time, only interrupted by eating, showering and sleeping. 

When this happens, it has nothing to do with not being interested in a girlfriend/wife any more. It does not mean that a guy does not care any more. And most of all, it is NOT DELIBERATE ! Guys do not make an active choice to say " Hey girl, I am ignoring you now ". Guys really appreciate to get some tolerance from their girlfriends/wives.

3 - CURIOSITY or KILLING TIME

A guy can be perfectly comfortable living with a girl and not sharing too much with her. This can literally mean that man and woman live together but there seem to be not a total interaction. 

For example, the guy watches TV while the girl prepare food. This is totally different. 

For a girl, this can indicate a crisis because she feels ignored. But for the man, there is no crisis at all. He is happy : He can do what he likes and wants, he has his lover near him, so he is relaxed and life is so easy ! He does not perceive that as a problem or danger to the relationship. 

Guys are content in a relationship quite easily and do not like to interpret so much into the relationship. 

4 - TRYING TO BE INDEPENDENT

Guys like to be in their owns. This can be as misinterpreted as ignoring the lady. Actually, everyone wants at some moment to have some space alone, retreat from any contact and have time to think or do something.  

Guys are very creative in their minds and sometimes they like to be alone and not get disturbed. 

All these activities are related with the issues that deal with the self. A guy does not spend a thought on " I want to ignore my girlfriend/wife ". This is not what he even thinks about. 

***

Now, here are some important things that you should know and consider when you feel you are being ignored :

- Unless a guy holds a grudge against you, it is most likely that he is not even aware that you feel ignored.

- Being ignored is not related to that the guy is being actively trying to ignore. He is being busy with thoughts regarding himself. This is not egoistic. This only means that he is very busy with his own world and does not observe and understand how a girl reacts. 

- Guys are really bad at reading subtle signs. Do not expect a guy to read your feelings from your body language. Guys do not read your mind and do not interpret your behaviour. They need very clear messages. Guys love DIRECT COMMUNICATION (but softly). They are very grateful when you analyse the problem yourself and tell them in few words exactly what is going on and how it affects you. They also love if you are NOT EMOTIONAL about it. So, if you encounter a problem, tell to your boyfriend/husband how you feel in a friendly soft way, and try to solve the problem together, WITHOUT DRAMA !

- Guys do not have high standards in a relationship. A guy can be happy easily if he just lives with a good girl. If a guy did not want to be with you, he would already have broken up. Please trust that a guy who is in a relationship with you, really wants to be with you, even he seems distant. For a guy, a relationship does not always mean that partners have to share every moment together and have endless amounts of romantic moments together. Guys just love to have a person to fall back on, someone to get a hug from, someone to give life stability. IT IS SO SIMPLE !

- There are two kinds of ignoring : Ignoring without a meaning hidden, and ignoring because something is wrong. In this article, we talked about the unintended and innocent ignoring, because a lot, a lot of girls/women just misunderstand their partners quickly. 

***

Women and men are like cats and dogs. None of them wants to get in any trouble. But, when they interact, misunderstandings can occur. It takes some time to get used to the different language that is used. If you want to understand how a man works, you have to try to think like a man , instead of projecting your own thinking patterns onto him. 

What seems like a relationship crisis to you may not even be perceived through his eyes. 

Good luck to you all !~~

(PS: To guys, try to figure out how you make us girls 

feel with your unintended behaviour, and tend to think

about what you want to do before you do it.) 

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LATE NIGHT TV

When families settle down for the night, are all the shows appropriate?

Most families watch about 3 hours of TV per day. But when it gets to 9 pm, is it always appropriate?

On Friday and Saturday nights - when children can stay up for longer - families could be inclined to turn on their TV. But due to foul language or inappropriate scenes, the TV is often turned off.

Some parents said :

 "After my children have gone to bed we usually watch The Graham Norton Show or Match of the Day. Most of the things on TV are really boring or inappropriate."

“I don’t like my children being exposed to swearing and rude scenes on TV, something should be done because it shouldn't be the case that we have to change the channel as soon as ‘something’ comes up."

 “Nowadays you can’t even watch the X Factor without there being some sort of reference to something rude. It doesn't have to be rude to be funny.”

A children’s TV channels end at a certain time, children might have to resort to something that is ‘above their age’. A 12-year-old girl said: ” I hate it when people swear, it sounds horrible. I don’t see why when people swear it’s funny.”

There are lots of resolutions for this problem; we could put age limits on the TV shows and you would have to have permission to watch the show. Or we could just ban people from swearing on TV or, for that matter, in our streets.

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5 WORDS WE HAVE TO DELETE FROM OUR VOCABULARY

In this article we explore how language and self talk impact our ability to motivate ourselves, achieve at high levels and live the life we deserve. We also look at 5 popular dis-empowering words and phrases and replace them with empowering words and phrases to support motivation, success, love, gratitude and achievement. 

Let’s get straight to it.Our actions create our life… Agree? Our thoughts create our actions…. Agree? Our thoughts are communicated to us in the form of language…. Agree? So…how can we live our largest, most expressive and most loving life if we are using vocabulary that makes us smaller, weaker and discouraged.We probably know somebody, maybe even ourrselves, using phrases like: “This only happens to me”, “Life’s a b*tch“, “I caaaaaaaaan’t!”, “Never!”, “I just can’t win”, “I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t”.The biggest problem with these phrases is not that they are negative or self centered, it’s that they stop us from taking action. Phrases like this paralyze us and fool us into thinking that we have no power and no choice. Which is nonsense.What if our words always made us and who ever we are talking to feel inspired, empowered and re-energized?    Here is a list of some five words and phrases we might want to delete from our vocabulary. also including some replacements! 

 1. I can’t

 You’re right! If you say you can’t, it’s over. Just that simple. The door is closed and locked. However, maybe you’re right. Maybe at this moment you can’t run 3 miles at once, maybe you can’t complete the project in 3 hours, maybe you can’t immediately forgive someone. With that said, you must learn to. I must learn, I will learn, I’m preparing myself to...is a much more empowering phrase that will propel you to take action, take risks and grow. 

2. Failure

There is no failure, only feedback – only results. You might not get the results you want, but don’t confuse that with failure. And, please don’t ever confuse yourself with your results. You are never a failure but you are always learning. I’m learning, is a much more empowering phrases that let’s you know you are aware of the current results and also shows that you are invested in figuring out a way to get the desired outcome. Learning produces growth, while believing in failure produces hopelessness and stress. 

3. I’m overwhelmed

Give yourself more credit! You are stronger and more durable than you think. You are not overwhelmed…you are in high demand! Doesn’t that feel so much better. Your self, school, family, boss, business and friends all need a lot from you because you have so much to give – give it.  Being in high demand develops character and also helps you learn to prioritize.You might be challenged, you might be put to the test, you might be busy, but you are way too strong to be overwhelmed! 

4. But

Stop. Stop! Stop! Please stop building a case against yourself. Stop rationalizing your excuses, procrastination or lack of productivity. “I want to do this but…” “I have always wanted to... but…” Stop making it so easy to talk yourself out of action. If you didn’t do something you said you would, or didn’t do something that you wanted to – own it, adjust, and move on. Don’t make excuses or rationales with the word ‘but’ because as we know, when we tell ourselves  the same thing over and over again…we start to believe it. Don’t talk yourself out of your highest life. 

5. I hate

Hate – a negative emotions that distorts judgement, tenses muscles, shortens breathing and puts us in a weak state of mind.  Let’s not overreact and let’s focus on the positive. Why HATE peanuts, liars and traffic when we can prefer almonds, honesty and freedom. I prefer, is clear way of saying what you like, dislike and expect. I prefer is also empowering and will always lead the conversation or experience in a positive direction.

We must take control of our words, thoughts, actions and life! 

“The limits of my language means the limits of my world.”
― Ludwig Wittgenste

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Reading the world in 196 books

Writer Ann Morgan set herself a challenge – to read a book from every country in the world in one year. She describes the experience and what she learned.

I used to think of myself as a fairly cosmopolitan sort of person, but my bookshelves told a different story. Apart from a few Indian novels and the odd Australian and South African book, my literature collection consisted of British and American titles. Worse still, I hardly ever tackled anything in translation. My reading was confined to stories by English-speaking authors.

So, at the start of 2012, I set myself the challenge of trying to read a book from every country (well, all 195 UN-recognised states plus former UN member Taiwan) in a year to find out what I was missing.

With no idea how to go about this beyond a sneaking suspicion that I was unlikely to find publications from nearly 200 nations on the shelves of my local bookshop, I decided to ask the planet’s readers for help. I created a blog called A Year of Reading the World and put out an appeal for suggestions of titles that I could read in English.

The response was amazing. Before I knew it, people all over the planet were getting in touch with ideas and offers of help. Some posted me books from their home countries. Others did hours of research on my behalf. In addition, several writers, like Turkmenistan’s Ak Welsapar and Panama’s Juan David Morgan, sent me unpublished translations of their novels, giving me a rare opportunity to read works otherwise unavailable to the 62% of Brits who only speak English. Even with such an extraordinary team of bibliophiles behind me, however, sourcing books was no easy task. For a start, with translations making up only around 4.5 per cent of literary works published in the UK and Ireland, getting English versions of stories was tricky.

Small states

This was particularly true for francophone and lusophone (Portuguese-speaking) African countries. There’s precious little on offer for states such as the Comoros, Madagascar, Guinea-Bissau and Mozambique – I had to rely on unpublished manuscripts for several of these. And when it came to the tiny island nation of Sao Tome & Principe, I would have been stuck without a team of volunteers in Europe and the US who translated a book of short stories by Santomean writer Olinda Beja just so that I could have something to read.

Then there were places where stories are rarely written down. If you’re after a good yarn in the Marshall Islands, for example, you’re more likely to go and ask the local iroij’s (chief’s) permission to hear one of the local storytellers than you are to pick up a book. Similarly, in Niger, legends have traditionally been the preserve of griots (expert narrators-cum-musicians trained in the nation’s lore from around the age of seven). Written versions of their fascinating performances are few and far between – and can only ever capture a small part of the experience of listening for yourself.

If that wasn’t enough, politics threw me the odd curveball too. The foundation of South Sudan on 9 July 2011 – although a joyful event for its citizens, who had lived through decades of civil war to get there – posed something of a challenge. Lacking roads, hospitals, schools or basic infrastructure, the six-month-old country seemed unlikely to have published any books since its creation. If it hadn’t been for a local contact putting me in touch with writer Julia Duany, who penned me a bespoke short story, I might have had to catch a plane to Juba and try to get someone to tell me a tale face to face.

All in all, tracking down stories like these took as much time as the reading and blogging. It was a tall order to fit it all in around work and many were the nights when I sat bleary-eyed into the small hours to make sure I stuck to my target of reading one book every 1.87 days.

Head space

But the effort was worth it. As I made my way through the planet’s literary landscapes, extraordinary things started to happen. Far from simply armchair travelling, I found I was inhabiting the mental space of the storytellers. In the company of Bhutanese writer Kunzang Choden, I wasn’t simply visiting exotic temples, but seeing them as a local Buddhist would. Transported by the imagination of Galsan Tschinag, I wandered through the preoccupations of a shepherd boy in Mongolia’s Altai Mountains.  With Nu Nu Yi as my guide, I experienced a religious festival in Myanmar from a transgender medium’s perspective. 

In the hands of gifted writers, I discovered, bookpacking offered something a physical traveller could hope to experience only rarely: it took me inside the thoughts of individuals living far away and showed me the world through their eyes. More powerful than a thousand news reports, these stories not only opened my mind to the nuts and bolts of life in other places, but opened my heart to the way people there might feel.

And that in turn changed my thinking. Through reading the stories shared with me by bookish strangers around the globe, I realised I was not an isolated person, but part of a network that stretched all over the planet.

One by one, the country names on the list that had begun as an intellectual exercise at the start of the year transformed into vital, vibrant places filled with laughter, love, anger, hope and fear. Lands that had once seemed exotic and remote became close and familiar to me – places I could identify with. At its best, I learned, fiction makes the world real.

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