This article is addressed to girls, but guys should read it too to be aware of the situation and so work on with their partners to reach good results.
When one person in your relationship is much busier than the other, that can put a huge strain on the relationship. You might be in different life situations, one where your boyfriend/husband has a lot of stuffs going on while you have a lighter schedule and want to spend your spare time with him, so you find that he has not time for you and you feel kind of neglected and ignored.
But, does your boyfriend/husband really mean to ignore you ?
Well, here are the real reasons why your boyfriend/husband seems to ignore you :
1- MEN ARE LESS SOCIAL
When a guy comes home from work or school, he does not usually talk too much. For him, it is really enough to see his girlfriend/wife smiling, giving him a hug and maybe a kiss. His world is okay then.
2 - BEING BUSY WITH A NEW PROJECT
Every once in a while, a guy finds a new " toy " to use. This can be a video game, a new piece of hardware, a new job...etc. For some reason, guys like to engage in their own projects, and this starts since childhood. They make cars with Lego, build castles with Playmobil, imagine wild worlds with knights, tanks, robots...etc. Boys can be very creative and always need something going on, and this carries on into adulthood.
- Unless a guy holds a grudge against you, it is most likely that he is not even aware that you feel ignored.
- Being ignored is not related to that the guy is being actively trying to ignore. He is being busy with thoughts regarding himself. This is not egoistic. This only means that he is very busy with his own world and does not observe and understand how a girl reacts.
- Guys are really bad at reading subtle signs. Do not expect a guy to read your feelings from your body language. Guys do not read your mind and do not interpret your behaviour. They need very clear messages. Guys love DIRECT COMMUNICATION (but softly). They are very grateful when you analyse the problem yourself and tell them in few words exactly what is going on and how it affects you. They also love if you are NOT EMOTIONAL about it. So, if you encounter a problem, tell to your boyfriend/husband how you feel in a friendly soft way, and try to solve the problem together, WITHOUT DRAMA !
- Guys do not have high standards in a relationship. A guy can be happy easily if he just lives with a good girl. If a guy did not want to be with you, he would already have broken up. Please trust that a guy who is in a relationship with you, really wants to be with you, even he seems distant. For a guy, a relationship does not always mean that partners have to share every moment together and have endless amounts of romantic moments together. Guys just love to have a person to fall back on, someone to get a hug from, someone to give life stability. IT IS SO SIMPLE !
- There are two kinds of ignoring : Ignoring without a meaning hidden, and ignoring because something is wrong. In this article, we talked about the unintended and innocent ignoring, because a lot, a lot of girls/women just misunderstand their partners quickly.
When one person in your relationship is much busier than the other, that can put a huge strain on the relationship. You might be in different life situations, one where your boyfriend/husband has a lot of stuffs going on while you have a lighter schedule and want to spend your spare time with him, so you find that he has not time for you and you feel kind of neglected and ignored.
But, does your boyfriend/husband really mean to ignore you ?
Well, here are the real reasons why your boyfriend/husband seems to ignore you :
1- MEN ARE LESS SOCIAL
When a guy comes home from work or school, he does not usually talk too much. For him, it is really enough to see his girlfriend/wife smiling, giving him a hug and maybe a kiss. His world is okay then.
This is not the same case with us girls. We need socialise a lot and share our experience of the day -detail by detail- with others, especially our boyfriend/husband. In fact, guys feel so amazed of how much a girl can talk about her day !
The one thing you need to know is : Guys are DIFFERENT. The way they think is different.There is nothing wrong with a guy if he does not like to talk as much as we girls do. This does not mean that a guy ignores you. Sometimes, guys are so tired that they can't talk any more.
2 - BEING BUSY WITH A NEW PROJECT
Every once in a while, a guy finds a new " toy " to use. This can be a video game, a new piece of hardware, a new job...etc. For some reason, guys like to engage in their own projects, and this starts since childhood. They make cars with Lego, build castles with Playmobil, imagine wild worlds with knights, tanks, robots...etc. Boys can be very creative and always need something going on, and this carries on into adulthood.
Sometimes, it goes a little overboard. There are times when something new comes out, and then ta guy wants to spend all day with it. Like playing a new video game all the time, only interrupted by eating, showering and sleeping.
When this happens, it has nothing to do with not being interested in a girlfriend/wife any more. It does not mean that a guy does not care any more. And most of all, it is NOT DELIBERATE ! Guys do not make an active choice to say " Hey girl, I am ignoring you now ". Guys really appreciate to get some tolerance from their girlfriends/wives.
3 - CURIOSITY or KILLING TIME
A guy can be perfectly comfortable living with a girl and not sharing too much with her. This can literally mean that man and woman live together but there seem to be not a total interaction.
For example, the guy watches TV while the girl prepare food. This is totally different.
For a girl, this can indicate a crisis because she feels ignored. But for the man, there is no crisis at all. He is happy : He can do what he likes and wants, he has his lover near him, so he is relaxed and life is so easy ! He does not perceive that as a problem or danger to the relationship.
Guys are content in a relationship quite easily and do not like to interpret so much into the relationship.
4 - TRYING TO BE INDEPENDENT
Guys like to be in their owns. This can be as misinterpreted as ignoring the lady. Actually, everyone wants at some moment to have some space alone, retreat from any contact and have time to think or do something.
Guys are very creative in their minds and sometimes they like to be alone and not get disturbed.
All these activities are related with the issues that deal with the self. A guy does not spend a thought on " I want to ignore my girlfriend/wife ". This is not what he even thinks about.
***
Now, here are some important things that you should know and consider when you feel you are being ignored :
- Unless a guy holds a grudge against you, it is most likely that he is not even aware that you feel ignored.
- Being ignored is not related to that the guy is being actively trying to ignore. He is being busy with thoughts regarding himself. This is not egoistic. This only means that he is very busy with his own world and does not observe and understand how a girl reacts.
- Guys are really bad at reading subtle signs. Do not expect a guy to read your feelings from your body language. Guys do not read your mind and do not interpret your behaviour. They need very clear messages. Guys love DIRECT COMMUNICATION (but softly). They are very grateful when you analyse the problem yourself and tell them in few words exactly what is going on and how it affects you. They also love if you are NOT EMOTIONAL about it. So, if you encounter a problem, tell to your boyfriend/husband how you feel in a friendly soft way, and try to solve the problem together, WITHOUT DRAMA !
- Guys do not have high standards in a relationship. A guy can be happy easily if he just lives with a good girl. If a guy did not want to be with you, he would already have broken up. Please trust that a guy who is in a relationship with you, really wants to be with you, even he seems distant. For a guy, a relationship does not always mean that partners have to share every moment together and have endless amounts of romantic moments together. Guys just love to have a person to fall back on, someone to get a hug from, someone to give life stability. IT IS SO SIMPLE !
- There are two kinds of ignoring : Ignoring without a meaning hidden, and ignoring because something is wrong. In this article, we talked about the unintended and innocent ignoring, because a lot, a lot of girls/women just misunderstand their partners quickly.
***
Women and men are like cats and dogs. None of them wants to get in any trouble. But, when they interact, misunderstandings can occur. It takes some time to get used to the different language that is used. If you want to understand how a man works, you have to try to think like a man , instead of projecting your own thinking patterns onto him.
What seems like a relationship crisis to you may not even be perceived through his eyes.
Good luck to you all !~~
(PS: To guys, try to figure out how you make us girls
feel with your unintended behaviour, and tend to think
about what you want to do before you do it.)
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